


Catch You On The Flipside

by kate882



Category: DCU, DCU (Comics), Nightwing (Comics), Red Hood and the Outlaws (Comics), Under the Red Hood
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst, M/M, dick's POV, jaydickweek2k17, my late submission for day two
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-06
Updated: 2017-10-06
Packaged: 2019-01-09 15:44:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,737
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12279540
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kate882/pseuds/kate882
Summary: The soulmate au where instead of the first thing your soulmate says to you being written on you it's the last thing they'll say to you.





	Catch You On The Flipside

As a kid, Dick hadn’t thought much about his soulmate. Who needed a soulmate when he had the circus? He was having the time of his life during every show, he was traveling all over the world, and a soulmate who was eventually going to leave him with “Catch you on the flipside, Dickiebird” was a kind of depressing thought.

And then he didn’t think too much about it because Batman said not to. He was older by then, so he was more vaguely aware that “the last thing your soulmate would say to you” likely had an unspoken “before you or your soulmate dies” attached to it. Which meant that his soulmate probably was going to be aware that one of them was dying when they said that. It was an even more depressing thought, but at least he could guess that his soulmate knew about his Robin identity based on the bird nickname.

He didn’t mention this to Bruce when he would lecture Dick on the importance of not getting involved with people for their own safety. (He didn’t even tell Bruce what his words were, and Bruce never asked. Sometimes Dick thought that Bruce might already know, but really there was no way for him to, since Dick knew only he could see the words. Batman just always seemed to have this air of knowing everything, even when he didn’t. Maybe he’d been waiting for Dick to tell him.) He also didn’t mention the way that Bruce looked at Clark sometimes. He just kind of rolled with it because he was young and needed to focus on other things. Like justice for his parents and everyone else who was being victimized in Gotham. What did a soulmate matter compared to the greater good? It was a very Batman like thought, Dick would realize later in life, to assume that the greater good and his soulmate couldn’t coexist in his life.

He started thinking more about it when he and Barbara dated, but she never called him Dickiebird. That didn’t mean he didn’t love her all the same, but when they did eventually break up he wasn’t sure that either of them were really surprised.

And when he became Nightwing he actually started to think about it. Without Bruce’s looming presence hanging over him, Dick thought a lot about this person who was apparently his other half. His other half who would be able to know who he really was. His other half who would say something dumb like “catch you on the flipside” when one of them was dying.

He wanted to meet this person.

And then he met Jason Todd. The newest Robin who was full of anger, but also cared so deeply for Gotham and its people and was always eager to learn new ways to protect the city.

Dick honestly couldn’t tell if Jason liked him much when he would stop by to help train him. The kid was a little hard to read. He’d tried to ask Alfred, who Jason seemed to spend the most time with. “He admires you greatly, and wishes to surpass your skills someday,” was what he got. He was pretty sure that didn’t answer his question, but he was also pretty sure it was the best he would get.

And then it happened.

“Fuck yeah! Did you see that? I totally got it this time!” Jason was panting and dripping sweat, but still clearly excited at finally having successfully performed the move that Dick had been trying to show him.

“Language, Little Wing,” Dick reprimanded, but there was a fond edge to his tone as he watched Jason make a face at the new nickname.

“Yeah yeah, whatever, Dickiebird. Like you’ve never heard the word before,” he answered, grabbing a water bottle and downing half of it in one go. “Let’s go again. I need to practice it now that I can do it.”

He took a few more sips of his water before heading back to the training mat and then looked over his shoulder at Dick, who was frozen to the spot, staring at him. “What? Do I have something on my face? Let’s go,” he said, striking up a defensive pose.

Dick didn’t move forward, and Jason’s shoulders slumped, just the slightest downward tilt, like he was disappointed. Maybe he did actually like Dick. Or at least liked training with him. Probably the second one.  “I—What did you just call me?”

“Huh?” Jason tilted his head, seemed to mentally go over his words. “Dickiebird? What, like you’re the only one that gets to make weird bird nicknames?”

Dick almost explained to him. He almost told him exactly why he was acting weird over a nickname. But then he gave it a moment’s consideration and scrapped that idea. Jason was young. And the one time Dick had been around to see Bruce give Jason the “don’t get involved” lecture, Jason had simply scoffed and declared that he had no interest in that kind of thing; he just wanted to be Robin.

Dick didn’t need to take that away from him right now. Jason needed time to just grow up some, to decide when he fully understood if he was interested in the soulmate idea, without the pressure of knowing that Dick was his hanging over him.

So, Dick didn’t say anything. “Nah, you can call me that if you want; I was just surprised. How about we take a break though? You look tired.”

Jason bristled, scowling at him in that way that had Dick wondering yet again if Jason even liked him (another reason not to mention the whole soulmates thing to him), all thoughts of Dick acting weird going out of his head like Dick had hoped they would. “I’m not tired. Don’t baby me, Grayson. C’mon, let’s go again.”

* * *

Dick started paying more attention to Jason after that. Jason seemed a little weirded out by it at first, but after a little while seemed to get used to him. He even became a bit more friendly, and Dick thought that Jason might be starting to warm up to him. He even showed up at Dick’s apartment in Blüdhaven once after a fight with Bruce, looking uncertain of his welcome there, and let Dick coerce him into watching movies and drinking hot chocolate until he was willing to talk about what had happened.

Things were good. They got along. Jason was still a bit of a loose cannon on the field, but he was a good kid.

And then he died.

“No. No he's not dead. This isn't funny Bruce,” Dick said into the phone.

Bruce’s voice was openly broken in a way that Dick had never heard before. Bruce always seemed like a rock to him, a solid strength when bad things happened, but he just sounded wrecked, and it was making Dick feel hysterical. “I'm not joking. Jason is gone. The Joker killed him. The funeral is next week.”

“No! You don't understand,” Dick said desperately. “He didn't say the words. He never said the words to me, so he can't be dead, Bruce, he can't!”

He heard the sharp inhale on the other end of the line. “Jason was your—”

“Yes, which means that he can't be dead. It has to be something else.” Dick realized distantly that he was starting to hyperventilate, but he couldn't think of any of the breathing exercises he'd been taught as Robin.

“Dick, he was just autopsied. He's gone.” There was a brief pause. “I'm sorry.”

Dick hung up on him. He'd feel bad about it later, but in the moment he couldn't stand to stay on the phone. He got a text the next day with the funeral details.

* * *

It didn't really feel completely real until he saw the body at the funeral home. The service wasn't open casket, and looking at the body before the service Dick could see why. It was bad. The Joker had not spared Jason any mercy. He'd died horribly.

Dick felt numb through the entire event.

He went through the motions and let people who didn't know Jason tell him what a good kid he'd been and how sorry they were.

He didn't cry.

And then he went back to the manor. And he saw Jason’s suit hung up in a display case, bits of blood that even Alfred couldn't get out showing on the mask.

He snapped.

“Where even were you? You were supposed to keep him safe! Dammit Bruce, he was only fifteen! He shouldn't be dead; he never should have been anywhere near the Joker by himself! How could you let this happen to him?!”

He understood why Jason had always been so angry. It was much easier than the alternative.

Bruce just stood there silently and let Dick yell and scream at him until his voice was hoarse and he didn’t have any more words to throw at him.

And when Dick finally couldn't yell anymore Bruce spoke, quite and calm, but with an underlying tremor that wouldn't be noticeable to anyone who didn't have years of experience listening for the smallest sign of what Bruce was feeling. “Do you think, that just because you were bonded to him, you are the only one entitled to grief and anger over his death?” Bruce asked him slowly. “There is nothing you can say to me about this that I have not already told myself. So if you need to shout to feel better, do so. But remember that I lost him too. I couldn't get to him in time. I lost him. It's my fault. And I have to somehow live with that.”

The fight drained out of Dick in an instant. He slumped forward and wrapped his arms around Bruce, finally letting himself cry for the first time that day as sobs wracked his body for the child that was supposed to grow into his other half and who shouldn't be dead. And selfishly he cried for himself, who was barely past childhood and had already lost so much. Being a hero meant growing up quickly, because being a hero was surrounded by tragedy.

* * *

Dick was aware that Jason was back before he saw him. He heard all about his confrontation with Bruce and the Joker, but he still felt the breath leave him the first time he encountered the Red Hood without the helmet. “Jay,” he managed to choke out, cataloging all of the changes to his features.

Jason was bigger now. Taller, stronger. He’d lost any childish roundness to his face, replaced by sharp angles. He had a white streak in his hair that didn't look like a style choice. But the most noticeable change was his eyes. Cold and hard where they used to have fire in them.

“Aw, Dickiebird, you look like you've seen a ghost,” Jason mocked, his smile all teeth.

Dick considered telling him. Wondered if knowing that he and Dick were soulmates would change anything. Would bring Jason back to them.

Ultimately he decided not to. Because it wouldn't change anything. And if it did, it wouldn't change for the right reasons. It wouldn't be because Jason changed his thoughts on justice and his new method of serving it out. It wouldn’t be because Jason chose to want anything to do with him and the rest of the Bats.

So instead he just asked Jason to come back. “Please, Jason, we all care about you. I understand that you feel angry, I—”

“You don't understand anything about what I feel!” And Dick could see his mistake on Jason’s face. “You can't understand because you didn't die! I died, and it still wasn't enough! I died and nothing changed! The Joker is still hurting people. There's a new Robin to take my place. I died for nothing, Dick! How could you possibly understand that?”

Dick’s heart broke for Jason, who seemed to truly believe that his death meant nothing to those around him. Who was still trying to do the right thing, even as he did it the wrong way. He stepped towards Jason, no real goal in mind behind the movement other than perhaps reaching out to the broken boy in front of him, but Jason jerked back.

He put his walls back up, eyes going hard again, all of the familiar heat that had been in them for just a moment frozen over.

“You should really just forget about Jason Todd. That kid died,” Jason muttered, shoving his helmet back on. He hopped onto his bike and sped off before Dick could get the words out to tell Jason that he couldn't just forget him and that he certainly wasn't going to give up on him.

* * *

Dick kept trying to find Jason after that. Sometimes he’d go months without finding anything, like Jason had just dropped off the face of the earth, and sometimes he’d just randomly run into him, and occasionally he’d actually find Jason by tracking him down.

The second two usually resulted in a fight. Jason made it very clear that he wanted nothing to do with Dick. Or anyone associated with Bruce for that matter.

Jason wasn’t actually trying to kill him though.

Oh, he sure was putting up a good show of it. The first time they fought he was pretty sure Jason _was_ trying to kill him.

But they’d been trained by the same man. Jason knew his moves because if he hadn’t learned them from Bruce, he’d learned them from Dick himself. And Jason had taken the time to learn more before returning to Gotham, and put deadly twists on the non-lethal moves that Dick relied on. And, as Jason so kindly pointed out during one of these fights, Jason fought with guns and other deadly weapons while Dick fought with “flips and sparky glowsticks.”

If Jason truly wanted him dead, Dick was pretty sure he’d be dead by now. So Dick took these fights as Jason trying to push Dick away. Which he wasn’t going to accept. So he pushed harder.

“Why can’t you just leave me alone? I’m not Robin anymore. I’m not your problem,” Jason growled, taking aim and firing, just barely missing Dick’s face because Dick managed to move in time.

“You’re still my Little Wing. Somewhere under all of that anger,” Dick insisted. A well-placed kick sent the gun flying out of Jason’s hand, and it clattered to the ground a few feet away, firing off a random shot that had them both jumping back to make sure they didn’t get hit by a stray bullet.

“What am I going to have to do to get you to understand that that’s gone? The Joker beat it out of me. Your hero complex is clouding your judgement.” Jason had already replaced the gun with another, and was aiming it at Dick.

Dick stared him down unflinchingly, stepping forward despite the way Jason’s hands tightened on the handle of the weapon as he did. “And your obsession with revenge is clouding yours.” Dick continued advancing until the barrel of the gun was pressed up against his chest. “If you’re really gone then do it. I’m offering myself up to you, Jay.”

Jason’s eyes narrowed, his jaw line so tense it looked painful. “Gone suicidal on me have you, Dickie?”

“You won’t kill me,” Dick answered confidently.

“What the fuck do you want from me?” Jason shouted, dropping his arm so that the gun was at his side instead of pressing into Dick. “I’m not going back, so what is it? What is your obsession with me? You look for me harder than Bruce does, but at least I get what his damage is. I’m his _mistake,”_ Jason spat the word out. “I’m something he wants to fix to alleviate his guilt. But you? What’s your angel?”

“No angel, Jason. Just a hell of a hero complex.”

Jason’s eyes searched Dick’s face. Dick wasn’t sure what he found on it, but Jason snorted and stepped back. “What a fucking liar. I don’t know what you’re after, I’m not even sure you know, but you’re not getting it. So go run home to Bats and tell him about what a lost cause his dead bird is.”

* * *

Jason seemed to mellow out some when he gained some friends. Dick thought it was a little weird that Jason's new friends were both exes of Dick's, but honestly the three of them had all been through so much. If Roy, Kori, and Jason could help each other even a little bit then Dick was happy for them. It was still weird. But he was happy for them all the same.

Jason didn't stop killing people, but he did seem to tone it down some.

And Dick had accepted that he wasn't going to be able to get Jason to come home. Things were too different now. But Jason was making an effort to start getting along better with everyone again.

He still called Tim “Replacement,” but he wasn't trying to kill or injure Tim anymore.

He still held a lot of resentment towards Bruce as well, but he was trying, and that was more than Dick had been able to make himself hope for for good a while now.

And he and Dick occasionally teamed up or exchanged information.

So yeah, Dick was really glad that Jason had made friends, no matter how weird he found Jason’s choices in who those friends were. They were good for each other. He still distinctly recalled walking into one of their safe houses to find the three of them singing (loudly and off-key) along to upbeat pop music, smiles on their faces as they laughed and made dramatic gestures to go along with the words. The sight had confused him, but also warmed his heart.

It was also apparently a common thing that they did, because almost any time Dick needed to go to their safe houses he either found a similar sight or just the music blaring loudly while they all did other things. He wasn’t sure if they were listening to it ironically (he knew good and well that all three of them could sing just fine, so the off-key notes had him leaning that way) and it had just gotten out of hand (like how Dick had tried to say “bae” one time ironically and then for weeks he embarrassed Tim because he couldn’t stop) or if it was some kind of odd coping mechanism. Listening to all the upbeat music and making fun of it while having a good time singing along anyway. The way they smiled and laughed when they did made him think that it was some kind of mix of both options.

Dick kind of wanted to join in each time, but it felt like an intrusion on their thing, so he’d let whatever song was playing finish before announcing his presence. Not a single one of them would ever acknowledge what Dick had just seen.

It was a few months into this new attitude shift from Jason that he and Dick started sleeping together.

Ideally, this is when Dick should have told Jason that they were soulmates. He didn’t really have any excuses not to anymore. It had never really felt like deceit to keep it from Jason until this point. Now it felt like he was lying to him, and he hated that.

But he was being selfish. He gave himself to Gotham and to Blüdhaven every day, and for once he just wanted this one thing to himself, and Jason might leave if he knew. Because Jason was the kind of guy that didn’t like having someone tell him what to do, and Dick wasn’t sure if that applied to the universe telling him who his soulmate should be, and he didn’t really want to find out.

He still didn’t know what the words on Jason were. He’d never asked and Jason didn’t bring it up. Dick wasn’t entirely sure that he wanted to know what his last words to Jason would be.

It was a while before he found out, and he hadn’t really been trying to.

They were lying in bed together—they’d have to get up soon for a shower, but for now they were content to just lay together in the afterglow. “Jay,” Dick mumbled into Jason’s skin as he trailed light kisses up and down his neck.

“Hmm?” Jason tilted his head a bit to give Dick better access.  

“Jason, I love you.” He felt Jason go completely tense under him, and that was his only warning before Jason pulled away completely, sitting bolt upright. “Don’t say that to me,” Jason hissed out fiercely.  

Dick’s eyes widened, and he felt kind of like Jason had just punched him. He hadn’t really expected Jason to say the words back, not yet at least, but he hadn’t expected quite such an adverse reaction either.

It hurt, but he pushed past that as well as he could to take in the whole situation and figure out what was going on. He wasn’t as good at it as Bruce, Dick had always worn his emotions a little more on his sleeve than his mentor, but he wasn’t completely incapable of compartmentalizing.

Jason looked almost panicked. He glanced around the room like he was waiting for something to happen. His hand was touching his heart, almost unconsciously. Dick zeroed in on that last detail. He had an idea of what was going on. He couldn’t see Jason’s soulmark of course, but he knew where it should be.

“Little Wing,” he tried.

Jason’s eyes snapped back to him. It was minimal, but Dick saw some of the tension leaving his body, further evidencing Dick’s hypothesis.

“You can’t—you can’t say that to me.” The words weren’t as harsh this time. They sounded almost scared. As scared as Jason was ever willing to let himself be, that is.

“It’s what your soul mark says, right?” Dick asked gently.

God, if he’d known… he wouldn’t have kept this all to himself. He thought he’d been sparing Jason when he was younger and didn’t tell him, but now he was realizing he’d probably done the opposite. It had to be terrifying. Letting anyone close when you knew that someone you cared about was going to leave, most likely in a death kind of way, after saying they loved you.

It really explained a lot about Jason if Dick thought about it. Which he did a lot over the next few weeks. But in the moment he focused on what was going on instead of letting his thoughts wander to psychoanalyzing his soulmate.

Jason didn’t answer his question verbally, just gave the smallest jerk of his head that could be interpreted as a nod.

“Alright, so I just don’t say it like that then. How about: Jay, I love you? Little Wing, I love you? Jaybird, I love you? Or even just a simple: I love you, with nothing in front of it? Are all of those safe?” Dick watched Jason’s face carefully as he spoke, not wanting to drive him away or send him into a panic.

Jason looked almost pained, but he didn’t look on the verge of bolting anymore. “You shouldn’t,” he said quietly after a long stretch of silence.

“Well that’s too bad. Because I do. You don’t have to say it back if you don’t want to, but I need you to know that that’s how I feel. And,” Dick took a deep breath, “… and you should also know that, in my soul mark the person talking calls me Dickiebird.”

Jason just stared at him for a few seconds before standing up and sliding on his boxers. “I need a cigarette,” he muttered, picking up his pants off the floor and putting those on as he walked towards the balcony of Dick’s apartment.

Dick wanted to follow him, but he knew that Jason needed some time to process the new information Dick had just dropped on him. Dick had had years to come to terms with him and Jason being soulmates. Jason had just found out.

He came back inside thirty minutes later. Dick had gotten a shower while he was out there, and was just sliding on some sweatpants when the sound of the balcony door opening, accompanied by the smell of smoke, alerted him to Jason coming back inside.

“So. Soulmates.” It wasn’t a question, and Jason wasn’t looking at him.

“Yeah,” Dick said simply.

“You never said.”

“You were just a kid.”

Jason rolled his eyes. “You’re not that much older than me.”

“And then you didn’t really want much to do with any of us when you came back.”

Jason couldn't deny that one, and he didn’t try to.

“I should have told you though. You had a right to know,” Dick admitted. “Especially after we got together.”

“You should have,” Jason agreed, leaning against the wall. “But I get why you didn't.”  

“Do you want to know what you say? Since I know what I do now,” Dick offered.

Jason snorted. “Fuck no. Keep that to yourself.”

Dick nodded in agreement. He could understand not wanting to know. Most people went their whole lives not knowing, even after they’d found the person they were sure they were meant for and were sure was their soulmate, and were perfectly okay with not knowing. It was morbid information after all. “So… we’re okay? You’re not mad?”

Jason looked at him consideringly, seeming to ponder over the words. “I’m not thrilled or anything that you’ve been keeping that from me. But we’re okay. I’m not pissed at you. Or at least not so pissed that I can’t move past it. But if you’ve got any other big confessions to make, now might be the time.”

“I ate the last of your ice cream last night,” Dick admitted with a wide grin.

“You fucking what?!”

* * *

It was years later, and Dick wasn’t even there in person. “Jason, you have to get out of there,” he said into the com. “That truck is going to blow.”

“If I leave it here it’ll take out the whole block. I’ve got to get it out of city limits,” Jason answered, voice strained.

No one had realized the mercs they were stealing a bomb from had a remote activator for the timer. That’s what Dick had to tell himself regularly to avoid drowning in guilt for not seeing it ahead of time.

“Then we need to deactivate it, you won’t have time to get out of range if you try to drive it out.”

“Dick, I know that. But I know this bomb. I won’t have time to stop it. I’m making a one way trip here.” Death by explosion twice. Jason was terrified. No one else would be able to hear it in his voice, but Dick knew him. He could. “I’m almost clear. Everyone in the city should be fine.”

“Except for you.” Dick was terrified, and it was very apparent in his voice if anyone had been there to listen, but they’d switched their coms to a private connection for this.

“It’ll be over in a second. I won’t feel a thing.” Dick could practically see the shaky smile on Jason’s face. God, he was about to die for the second time and he was still trying to reassure Dick. “I’ll go out a hero. Maybe it’ll be enough to get me through the golden gates again.”

“If I don’t say it—if I don’t say the words you can’t die. Or you’ll come back—or, or—” Dick was sounding desperate now, his eyes stinging with tears threatening to fall out.

Jason sighed and gave a half-hearted chuckle. “Dick, I’m about to die. Nothing short of a miracle is changing that, and I don’t think I’m getting a second one of those. I just cleared the city. This thing is about to blow. I love you. So just—just let me die hearing that you love me too. Please.”

Dick had to choke out the words through a sob. “Jason, I love you.”

“Catch you on the flipside, Dickiebird,” Jason murmured just before the alarm on Dick’s computer went off telling him that time had hit.

The line went dead.


End file.
